(Not like that, you asses.)
Thanksgiving Break is supposed to be just that, a break, but it's not looking like much of one. It's unfortunate, I could really use one. As you can see, I have been extremely lackadaisical with my posting, and not only that, I'm also in the process of trying to get back on track with my NaNoWriMo story because this past weekend both knocked me off the bandwagon and ran me over with it several times.
Without going into too much background, I feel this can be best explained by an email I sent to my boyfriend last weekend (while he was, ahem, "busy") asking, "Why do boys have to be so fucking difficult?" It fits because it indicates my problem (boys) and the fact that I was angry about it.
What basically happened was that one of my guy friends (the one I went pantyhose shopping with) recently broke up with his girlfriend two weekends ago, so we had kindof a singles' appreciation dinner last Friday, since my SO was also elsewhere. It was really nice 'cause we hadn't really hung out since the weekend we met, and we BSed about all sorts of stuff. Long story short, things happened and he kissed me at the end of the night, which was quite honestly awesome but left me horribly confused in several ways.
Fast-forward to last night, I have a girls' night dinner with one of my dorm friends, who is convinced that everything is going to work out like yet another cheesy rom-com, and I'm finally able to get ahold of my guy friend to drop off some cookies I was supposed to give him last Friday after I left. I'd get up the confidence to spill the beans, and then his roommate would conveniently walk in, and eventually my friend had to get to studying for an Italian test, so I asked if he could walk me out and did confession time outside the building. I had to, it had been bothering me for almost a week and if I had waited any longer, I probably would've exploded from the angst.
It was awkward, of course. I mean, asking someone out under any circumstances is inherently awkward, and this was even more so considering his recent breakup and my current situation. He politely declined, which I kindof expected, but it wasn't so much of an outright "no" as the fact that he wasn't ready just yet. As he put it, he was used to being a housecat and just got thrown outside, so he'll go feral eventually but it'll take a while. It made sense (I really like the metaphor), and obviously I respect him for it, but what followed was probably the world's most awkward hug and then me feeling like an ass for asking even though I know I shouldn't've.
So I think we're ok now, and I feel better now that I don't have to live with not being able to state my case, but it's still kindof embarrassing. I just hope this works out somehow.