Adventure 26 - Getting Down to Business

Not to defeat the Huns, though I (mis)quoted that in my journalism research class the other day and now everyone in there probably thinks I'm insane. (Well, between that, my buffalo hat and my decision to want to learn Irish in my spare time.)

Anyway. Since I have been distracted by the first week of the new semester, I figured I'd check in and say hey to prove that I haven't fallen off the face of the earth. Classes are good, though my first day was scary in terms of homework because my honors professor, who was dull as all get-up, assigned 4-5 pages of writing and 70+ pages of reading the first night. I think it was his ploy to get people out of the class who weren't gonna take it seriously, and it seems to have worked, considering how many people dropped. Luckily, the homework load and his personality improved, so that's all I care about.

Though on the subject of things falling, I made the most gorgeous shortbread cookie today. It was perfectly round and smooth and lightly golden brown and pretty damn awesome. And then this happened.

So pissed.

I had to balance it on one hand to get the door open, and as soon as I stepped into my room, down went the cookie. So if anyone in the building around 8:10 or so heard someone yell "FUCK!", that was me dropping my beautiful cookie. On the plus side, my room smells like shortbread now.

I was also a big girl and went to a concert at a bar last night. Music was good and so were the post-concert cookies I got with my honors "big", but the most exciting part was probably the pizza elevator.

It's that columny thing in the middle with the slots.

Yes, a pizza elevator. Horizontal space is hard to come by in certain parts of the city, so the kitchen is upstairs, and instead of using the stairs (and potentially pulling a me and dumping the food all over the place), they chose to entertain simple-minded people such as myself with a pizza elevator.

'Tis all for now. More updates as something interesting comes along.

Adventure 25 - The Fellowship of the Geek

Because the only parties worth going to are geek parties.

Then again, that's the only party I've been invited to.

At any rate, after getting lost in a neighboring high school's campus while picking up a friend and his brother from their fencing meet and having the two of them make fun of my car (hey, it's a craptastic car but it's my craptastic car), I went to a geek party that their mom had invited me to, and it was so much fun. All the food was from any one of the traditional geeky franchises, like Star Wars or LOTR or whatever (I had some lamb stew that was really good), plus all sorts of picky stuff like veggies and jelly beans and Star Wars cookies.

Apparently, what usually goes on at these parties is that there are an assortment of activities for everyone, from games to movies and the like. They had a game of Munchkin going on, which I got for Christmas after a college friend introduced it to me, but I didn't see it until they had already started, plus I'm still a little rusty at the game, so I decided not to join. Besides, there were rumors of lightsaber fights, and I was in for a buck.

Of course, this wasn't going to be a legit fight. For starters, I can't swordfight to save my life, so between that and the fact that the two guys I came with both fence, I knew I was in for an ass-kicking. But the lightsabers were also not real lightsabers (duh) but PVC pipe wrapped in pool noodles and duct taped/Sharpied to look somewhat like real lightsabers, so what ended up happening is we just beat the crap out of each other with these giant foam swords and it was awesome.

(In related news, I hope I can find somewhere around here that sells pool noodles in January...)

We watched the trailer to The Hobbit (which I still need to read, but it comes out in December so I have time) and other YouTube nonsense, and I made the mistake of saying I had never seen The Fellowship of the Ring so even though my friend's mom and brother were leaving, my friend made me stay so I could at least watch part of it before I had to get home. Again, I've never read the book, so I was a little lost, but I'd like to watch it in full sometime, as well as read the book.

I couldn't stay to watch the whole movie 'cause I had to bring my friend back to his house, get all the fencing crap out of my trunk, fish around for a lost sneaker that had fallen out of the bag, and then get myself home. All in all, it was so much fun and I'm glad I went.

Adventure 24 - We're Doomed

Can someone explain to me the point of the primaries? I get that they're supposed to figure out which candidate is going to run for the party, but this one instead seems to be determining everyone's weaknesses rather than their strengths. Granted, it's a process of weeding out the bad candidates, but this entire Republican race has been one big idiocy-fest, between the mudslinging and everyone just sounding silly on pretty much every subject that's brought up. I don't know about you, but it disturbs me to know that these people believe they are fit for running an entire country, yet they can't count to 3, don't know what was going on in Libya or think that Gardasil causes mental retardation. (Of course, two of those aforementioned people already dropped out of the races, so perhaps the primaries are actually doing their job...)

I stayed up to watch the ball drop on New Year's (not sure why, I do it every year and every year it's as anticlimactic as the last), and once 2012 hit, a bunch of statuses appeared on Facebook from friends saying how they can't wait to get a Republican president into office. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and I'm not much into politics, but if these candidates are serious, we are screwed if any of them are elected. Sure, not everything has been hunky-dory this past term, but nothing has ever been completely hunky-dory at any point in... well, ever, so no one can say this term especially sucked, because all of them do in some way, shape or form. No president or administration can make everyone happy, and that's what we're forgetting. What I can say, however, is that I would rather have the misplays from this term than be denied basic reproductive health coverage or have anyone in the LGBT, etc. community be denied the right to marry who they want.

I'm not going to hope for "change" in the upcoming term because I don't know who will win and depending on who does, I might not want that change. So I'm going for "choice."

Adventure 23 - Good Riddance

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right
I hope you had the time of your life


I don't know about you, but 2011 sucked. It's not any surprise why. Everyone's convinced the world will end in December 2012, but I think it ended in July, and this is secretly some post-apocalyptic fuck-up that someone passes off as reality. I mean, think about it. In what reality is it ok, let alone normal, for your boyfriend of about 27.5 months to tell you, "Oh, by the way, I want to date our mutual friend but I hope it's ok with you"? In what reality is it ok for that friend to intentionally disregard every condition the polyamory bullshit (as I affectionately call it) was established under and have the audacity to bitch when she can't see him for one weekend when I haven't seen him in two goddamn months? And in what reality is it ok for me to have to live with everyone hating my boyfriend and calling me insane for staying with him?

I can't say 2011 has been all bad. I was finally able to use my stats monkey skills for something useful (i.e. earning my worth on the softball team and my letter), I graduated from high school (not like there was any doubt but hey, it's important), and I survived my first semester of college with a 3.93 GPA while working an average of 10 hours a week. I've made some pretty awesome friends, one of whom things have... well, you already know.

But seriously, in what universe is it ok for me to not only find acceptable but actually want and seek this sort of affection from a friend who is just that and (unfortunately) nothing else? It's horrible that I'm disappointed that I'll never get anywhere with this friend when I have someone that, despite the distance and the shit he's put me through, I still love. It's horrible that I'm looking for baserunning from a friend when I barely allowed it with my boyfriend this time last year. And it's horrible that I even have to have this conversation with anyone.

Looking forward to 2012, I know what I want. I think it's pretty obvious what I want. But it's not something that I can ask for because this is beyond idealistic repair. What I can do is take a step back and take an objective look at everything to figure out what I need to do. I don't know what that is yet, but I have a year to figure it out.

Bring it, 2012.

Adventure 22 - The Atheist Case for Holidays

After all, the root of "holiday" is "holy day," and as someone who does not believe in deities or holy beings in general, I technically shouldn't be celebrating them. But in the light of the ridiculousness known as being politically correct and eliminating Christmas parties and replacing them with generic "holiday" and "winter" parties if you're lucky or nothing at all if you're not, I propose something I've done since before I cared about atheism (or really knew what it was), and that's celebrating everything.

Celebrating a holiday is not forcing your religion onto anyone as long as the option is provided, and it's not so much telling your guests what to believe in so much as teaching them about your traditions, which I find fascinating. For example, I went to a friend's party last night and got to watch the Hanukkah candle lighting ceremony and eat latkes with applesauce (which was most delicious considering it counteracted the bite of the onions) and mess around with dreidels, among other things, and it was so much fun, even though that's not what I celebrate.

The problem, I think, is that people are so intolerant of others and fail to consider that different traditions are just that, different, and not necessarily wrong. Granted, there are some beliefs that I consider wrong, such as forced gender discrimination and the denial of basic reproductive health rights, but in terms of things like whether you put up a Christmas tree or a menorah or nothing at all, there is no right or wrong.

My solution, as I said before, is to celebrate everything. Make it like elementary school, when we had those cute little worksheets that we got to color in and the little games that we played so we could learn what goes on during Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Ramadan, Diwali, and so on. Not only was it fun, it was educational. It's not like our teachers were forcing anything on to us, and if someone decided "Hey, this is pretty cool," it's not the end of the world if they decide to switch religions.

If anything, it would be detrimental not to have these sorts of mini-celebrations at a young age because it is denying children, who are (and I hate to be cliché but I have to be) the future of our society, basic societal knowledge. For starters, we are all different and we celebrate different things but that's ok, and denying knowledge on any level is wrong. These people that are so concerned about being politically correct that they are in fact insulting everyone by preventing them from carrying on their own customs and cultures. If someone individually doesn't want to partake in anything, that's fine, but don't force people to not partake in anything, because that's just as bad as forcing them to partake in something.

Bring on the latkes.

Adventure 21 - Chaos

Also known as Christmas in my family.

I'll keep it short, but waking up at 4:30am for a 12-hour trip home, not getting to bed until midnight and then 4 Christmases will wear you out a little, especially considering I've only done two so far but I've had horrible allergies since I got home. I hope I'm not allergic to my dog. That would be sad.

Anyway. What I want most for Christmas is not something I can ask for, but I have a Squishable narwhal, so I guess that's a start.

Adventure 20 - The Cookie Hetaera

As your typical college student, I didn't really feel like spending what little money I have on Christmas presents for all my friends. I mean, here alone I had 10 people I would've had to buy for, and even little tchotchke things add up. Thus, the cookiepalooza.

Instead of spending a bunch of money on presents, I spent 40 bucks on supplies to make 4 batches of cookies for my friends. I know, that's a ridiculous amount of cookies, but the recipe I have calls for 3/4 of a stick of Crisco, and Crisco only comes in 3-packs, plus each of my friends wanted different kinds.

My roster for this weekend was:

• 2 batches of chocolate chip (which was the original recipe and the most requested kind)
• 1/2 batch of peanut butter chip (because one of my friends is a loser and doesn't like chocolate)
• 1/2 batch of peanut butter chip and chocolate chip (because one of my friends wanted both)
• 1/2 batch of snickerdoodle (because that was requested twice)
• and the pièce de résistance, 1/2 batch of chocolate chip bacon (because I had a half-batch left, plus hello, it's bacon and chocolate chip cookie in one bite)

So after 4 hours in the kitchen, my cookies were done, and after walking to and from work in the snow and balmy 24°F weather, I started off on my delivery. I got about half of them done last night, between people not being home and the fact that I spent 3 hours BSing with one friend (split between me dropping off the cookies and him coming back for a refill), but I'll try to finish the rest today. The only issue is rationing off the chocolate chip bacon cookies 'cause I only made 12 and they're reeeeally good.

So why does this make me the cookie hetaera? For those of you unfamiliar with the term, a hetaera was the highest class of prostitute in ancient Greece, but instead of getting money for her services, she'd generally get gifts. Thus, instead of getting houses or farms in return for sexy things, I get hugs and a balloon animal for my cookies.